Taking Steps To Improve Your Marriage

Ok so I know that I haven’t blogged in a while but I have a good one today 🙂

"Esposas de Matrimonio" ("Weddi...

   Have you been thinking lately that your marriage is lacking something?

   Or it has become so routine that it seems you and your spouse have a plan/list/time setup for everything including sex and it has just not become fun anymore?

   Have you been praying for something different to come along or some change that might spark it up but nothing has come about?

 

Lets consider something today shall we? What if God what YOU to step out and do something instead of sitting and waiting for something to happen?

Don’t get me wrong here, praying is a top priority but are you listening when you are praying?? Are you stopping to hear what God is telling you to do or are you toning Him out because it is something that is out of your comfort zone or other excuses?

God didn’t make men visual creatures just because He was being funny… There is a reason… And we as women have to be mindful of that. His Word gives us the guidelines to live by, but for the most part many things we question in our relationship is what is great for one marriage might not work for another…. Meaning if I buy a very risque nighty for my hubby thats ok for us but you and your spouse my not want to do that and thats OK!

 

The point I am trying to make here is that if you and your spouse have decent communication you should have an idea of what he or she likes and dislikes. When it comes to “out of the box” thinking just make sure that whatever you do it isn’t making them feel demeaned or ashamed and honors them….. If you aren’t sure about something, talk to them and pray about it. Sometimes me and my husband when we have something planned but don’t want to let the cat out of the bag so to speak, we ask general questions to see how they feel about it. 

What attracted us to our spouses in the first place?? Learning about them, exploring their thoughts, finding out things about them… The whole newness and mysteriousness, trekking out to discover everything about them. When you’ve been together for 20,30,50, 70 years you have to find new things to keep other guessing sometimes. It doesn’t have to be every night or even once a month.

Take time to really listen to what God is saying to you. Read His Word and get the guidelines that He says not to cross, He will tell you. Let Him be your guide in your relationship and marriage. And HAVE FUN! There will always be awkward times where something may not have come out as envisioned so laugh about it and don’t take it too seriously. Don’t be too hard on yourself or your spouse, marriage is a learning journey enjoy the ride!  I have also learned not to focus on my physical flaws so much (it can be a total turn off to mention them all the time) and starting to focus on the things I do like. Of course I am working on improving my health to be better for God and my husband.

Have fun and have a blessed day, in Jesus Name!!

Christina, Three Passions

 

 

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“When The Music Fades” In Your Marriage

I know its been over a month since I’ve posted the next article in this series from Focus on the Family. Its been an interesting summer so far to say the least. For here in Alaska we don’t get too many summers with 90 degree weather and me and my family have been enjoying it while it lasted. For some reason the harder I try to stay on track the quicker I seem to get off…  Oh well I’ll take it as it comes. 🙂 Hope you enjoy this series!

Christina – Three Passions

“After the Fall, the beautiful harmony within human relationships and, in fact, the entire creation, devolved into dissonance.”

By most standards Nancy and Josh’s marriage was exemplary. Their middle-class status was comfortable. They both loved each other and adored their three children. Josh was involved in the men’s ministry at their church, and Nancy taught the junior high bible class. The kids were generally well-behaved, and everyone respected this family.

Josh and Nancy had no major issues confronting their relationship, but lately an inexplicable tension was building between them. Nancy began to complain that Josh expended so much of his time and energy at work that he had very little left for her and the kids. In his mind, Josh was simply fulfilling his responsibility to his family by providing for them. He was trying to be a good husband and father, but his efforts seemed to be increasingly criticized. And Josh, like Nancy, was becoming progressively more frustrated.

No Barriers

Nancy and Josh’s difficulty is nothing new. In fact, Genesis sheds some light on this relational state of affairs. Prior to the first human couple’s rejection of God’s goodness, they lived in a protected environment, with unlimited resources and an intimate connection between each other and the Creator. There was no power struggle between them, no critical view of the other. In biblical language, they “were naked and not ashamed” (Genesis 2:26).

As husband and wife, they lived in full openness before one another and God as they “walked in the cool of the evening with God.” There were no barriers, no personal agendas, no unrealistic expectations of the other and no attempts to find life from the other. They both expressed to, and received from, each other the authentic love of God peculiarly mediated through them as male and female. They participated in the sacred dance of marriage, living in the full, dynamic life of their mutual Creator.

From Harmony to Dissonance

This beautiful harmony within human relationships and, in fact, the entire creation, eventually devolved into dissonance. Once they pursued life from a source other than God, the man and woman introduced into human relationships conflicts that continue to afflict us all. They first hid themselves from one another with leaves, and then they hid from the Creator among the trees. The deep, spiritual harmony that existed between the man, woman and God was disrupted.

Once banished from the garden, they entered a hostile environment with limited resources. The woman began to depend increasingly on the man, where she previously received freely from God, and the man began the arduous task of providing for his family by the sweat of his brow. The “battle of the sexes” began: “You shall desire him, and he shall rule over you” (Genesis 3:16). Sociologists have long recognized that power struggles occur in relationships primarily due to conflicts over limited resources.1

The Genesis text anticipated, and sadly described, this lingering condition.

Addressing Some Sour Notes

Whatever one thinks of the Genesis description of human relationships, it rings true and offers some valuable insights for marriage:

  • While interpreters debate the specifics, Genesis indicates the emergence of a power struggle between male and female (Genesis 3:16). Whatever is involved in the “woman’s desire for the man,” and his “rule over her,” we need to acknowledge that power struggles do occur within relationships. Though often subtle, they are real and must be recognized. If allowed to remain unchecked, power struggles can erode relational intimacy.
  • We tend to seek life and identity from sources other than God. When this occurs, we place unrealistic demands on our spouse. Since only God can serve as the true source of our lives, any attempt to receive meaning and purpose from our spouse will leave us – and the other – frustrated. Additionally, rather than expressing and receiving God’s love in the relationship, we’ll drain it of all energy.
  • As in the Genesis story, couples tend to “cover themselves” from the other. This is the biblical language to describe “the fear of intimacy” as well as “trust issues.” God intends for married couples to experience full and open disclosure of themselves to one another. Though difficult to do, such honesty is the key to deeper intimacy.

In the following article, we’ll consider in more detail some ways that couples can move into deeper intimacy.

Are We Christians Being “Hateful”?

This subject has bothered me for some time now and I just have to put it out there and let others chime in.  I was going through some articles, comments, and posts about the proposed marriage amendment. Unfortunately this is something that has the country split in half as much as the last election did, and probably the next election (but that a whole nuther story).  There are varying views on both sides of this. On the No side people are saying they have right to marry whoever they want to marry and/or just spite. On the Yes side you have the Biblical view or those that feel it is just wrong and leads to more questionable things down the road. I myself am not where to go with this because I don’t want to be someone looks at it the wrong way or miss something. Is has been shown that children raised in the traditional home seems to grow better because with each growing child they need a father figure and a moth figure in the household. I am not homophobic because I know people who are gay and I don’t spout hate to them every time I see them. I still love them as much as I would if they weren’t gay. The problem with me and the gay community is that yes God created man and woman and what would happen if everyone turned out to be gay…. The human race would diminish simple because of natural procreation. Yes I know that there are other ways to get pregnant but these ways become more difficult and expensive.

My problem isn’t with the marriage so much as the lifestyle itself. No matter which way you look at it, it is not natural. God created the penis to be inserted into a vagina, there is no argument there. Now I’m not saying that I don’t validate feelings of people. But even the Bible says that the only thing we can trust to never change is Him and that our feelings, mind, heart can be deceived and very easily if we don’t have God, Jesus, and His Word to guide us. Otherwise we will be blown to and fro and beliefs will always change and not know what is true and good. Hatred for gays or homophobia are as bad on the other end of the stick where Christians are hated by others just as much. But we don’t have laws against a Christian being abused or killed to protect just those people and that’s because we already have laws in place that tell us if we do these things to anyone you will be prosecuted. There shouldn’t be laws to protect one persons lifestyle over another when it comes to something that is already in place to protect them.

As far as healthcare, hospitals not allowing partners into hospital rooms and things of that nature I don’t believe that that is right. Things need to change there. Just because I don’t believe that homosexuality is a healthy lifestyle doesn’t mean that I want them to suffer by me personally by not allowing them to see loved ones or count them on their tax returns or even putting them on their health insurance. They are still supporting each other in a relationship.

Now my view on the marriage amendment my reasons why I don’t think I am against it is for a few reasons. My first one is that if we start to “redefine” what marriage is then who is to say that a guy goes to court because he wants to marry his dog because he feels that he loves it and no one can tell him how he feels, what he loves is what he loves, right? Or how about a pedophile who wants to marry an 8 year old because if they marry the 8 year old it will be legal?

The marriage amendment is not about hate.  Its about what some of us believe is right. So many people believe that us Christians have to just roll over and play dead to show Gods love. Well what about when Jesus was so distraught over turning a holy place into a trade market? He didn’t go God loves you and say if that’s what they feel or turn a blind eye and walk away…. He showed a righteous anger to the people that some things need to stay holy.

Just because I love someone doesn’t mean I have to turn a blind eye because its politically correct. God gave an inherent ability to know whats right or wrong. Do we always follow whats right or wrong? No, we all make mistakes. Christians have been at the top of the list for a long time with being judgmental thinking that  they were serving God when they themselves were deceived.

All of us has sinned in some way and all of us do it daily. Homosexuality is a sin just as much as murder, stealing, sex before marriage, coveting, adultery, and lying. Sin is where something comes before or more important than God. If you do not know Christ you will go to hell. That goes for all of us not just homosexuals. We all fall short of Gods glory and cannot enter the kingdom of God unless we accept the Savior who died for us to reconcile the broken bridge. No its not easy to accept this. People do not like to be told when they are doing something wrong and when we are told, a lot of the time we will rebel and do even more, defend ourselves, pull away from the ones who said anything, and fight it. Think of a teenager who wants to be independent but not quite ready to be out on his own yet. They want the freedom that an adult has without the responsibility. This is what I see happening in society. Don’t tell me what to do, I can do what I want.

Jesus said that if we stand for Him then we will be persecuted and hated just as He was. I, personally, would rather believe in God in the afterlife and nothing be there than then believe in nothing and find out I was totally wrong. I accepted Jesus as my Savior because I needed Him. Not because He gives me everything I ask for as my personal butler but as my Savior with peace and joy and love that would have never known otherwise. Nothing compares to Him and my relationship with Him. I will never be perfect in this life but I know that I will be made perfect after I die because my life is His, Jesus my Savior, and I live for Him.

I understand that this post my not bring the best of comments but I have a right to my opinion. And just because I am a Christian I shouldn’t be quiet. I love you all. We’re all the same in my book and Gods.

In Gods grace and Jesus’ freedom!

Christina

Three Passions

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Is There Really “Christian” Lingerie?

So I was recently contacted by a BIG news agency since they were concocting a story on christian erotica. Yea I know, one of those oxymoron’s.  I do not want to mention who it it until I know for sure they are actually going to use us in any way, ok I will give you a hint, it starts with A….

Anyways here is the question that keeps coming up… What makes the lingerie Christian? Here’s the answer…  It doesn’t! Lingerie can’t be any more Christian than a frog can be a cow. It just doesn’t. Its the purpose behind it… The people behind it. The morals and values and beliefs of the people who are offering their goods. Does it line up with Gods Word and honor each other in your marriage? If something doesn’t feel right don’t do it. For example, a schoolgirl outfit. Some of you out there are thinking that it makes it seem like your spouse wants a teenage girl if you dress up in something like that. Others are thinking that as long as you and your spouse are ok with it and enjoy it visually and sexually it makes your sex life stronger. Well here’s a question… Is it just the name of it, the style or just the thought of the whole thing? I would honestly like to hear some of you chime in on this one and let me know your thoughts.

As far as me and my husband go a plaid skirt that barely goes past my butt cheeks and a shirt that barely covers my breasts is an absolute turn on for him not because of what it signifies but because it is barely covering anything but leaving just enough out of the picture to wait and imagine. Hey what about a secretary outfit or a scantily clad pirate girl….

Here is my analogy on it. Nothing is for everyone no matter what it is. Even God says it in His Word… 1 Corinthians 6:12   Amplified version 12 Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable when considered with other things). Everything is lawful for me, but I will not become the slave of anything or be brought under its power. The thing is to not be ruled by your desires and be overcome by them the same way a druggie or an alcoholic would be. A connection with the Lord is is how you know. We have done lots of praying when we started our business. If we didn’t have that we would be like everyone else out there without a real reason why we we do what we do.  We do what we do because its right and we want to please the Lord. And it pleases the Lord when we are honoring, serving, and pleasing our spouse in the bedroom as much as outside the bedroom. He created the hunger for us to be excited for each other and we need to stand on that as long as it stays between the husband, wife, and God.

Let me know if you guys have any questions and comments about this post, would love to hear your chimes!

Sexy Marriages and Godly lives!

Christina

threepassionslingerie.com

Are You Serving With The Right Attitude?

I absolutely love these articles from Mathew J. White. He is real and these articles make me think every time. Enjoy these and pray about this yourself.

Are you truly serving your spouse with the right attitude?  😉

Serving With the Right Attitude

Serving your spouse should be considered an opportunity and conducted with joy. Jesus was the perfect example of serving with the right attitude.

Imagine you’re sitting down to watch the debut of a new sitcom called “Married to Jesus.” (Roll with me for a minute, here.) You’re excited because it’s been the talk of all the entertainment news shows for weeks. There has been a ton of build up, but the details of the show have managed to be kept hidden. What you do know is that it’s not about Jesus of Nazareth, but a modern-day guy named Jesus who lives in the suburbs of Cincinnati with his wife and four children. The story line is basically this: What if all the characteristics of Jesus Christ were present in a family man from Cincinnati?

The opening scene goes something like this:

(It’s the middle of the night; Jesus and his wife, Sally, are sleeping. You get a glimpse of the clock that reads 3:14 AM.)

“Mom! Mom!” A scared 3-year-old calls from down the hall. “Mom! The monsters are getting me!”

Mom jumps up at the sound, but Jesus is already halfway out of the room and down the hall. He takes a few minutes to comfort their youngest son, gets him some water and then settles him back in for the night. Jesus returns to the bedroom to a groggy, “Thank you” from Sally.

(Camera fades; opens to a shot looking out the kitchen window to a cold, rainy Cincinnati morning.)

“Honey, I completely forgot!” exclaims Sally. “I need you to pick up the kids after school; get John to indoor soccer, Susan to band practice and Charlie to Sam’s house, and grab the little one from daycare. I am so sorry I didn’t tell you that I had a conference downtown this afternoon.”

“I’ll have to move a few things around, but that shouldn’t be a problem,” responds Jesus. They finish the morning routine, get everyone out to school and get themselves to work.

(Following a commercial break, you find Jesus at work; he’s a carpet salesman at the big carpet chain in town. As the camera pans down to Jesus’ desk, it passes the clock showing the time as 2:53 PM.)

“Bob, I can’t believe what you’re telling me,” Jesus says over the phone. “They want how much carpet, and how soon?” You notice Jesus glancing at the clock as he continues his conversation. “Okay. Let me get this straight: They need 30,000 square feet of carpet – installed – by this Friday? And they are willing to pay whatever it takes to make this happen? Am I hearing this correctly? And, they want me to be out there this afternoon to close the deal?”

Jesus looks up at the clock again, but not in a nervous or stressful manner. He seems very aware of the time and the dire circumstances. “Bob,” Jesus begins again. “This sounds like a great opportunity, but I made a commitment to my wife that I would pick up the kids this afternoon. I have to leave here in just a few minutes to get to the school on time. I know we can get this done, even if we wait until tomorrow morning to sign all the paperwork. Can you let them know this, and please apologize for the inconvenience?” You can hear Bob shouting on the other end, obviously furious at Jesus’ response. “Bob, I promise I’ll take care of everything. I will personally call the customer on my way to get the kids to ensure he understands that we will make this happen by Friday.”

Are you getting the picture here? It may not compare to the Seinfeld classics, comically speaking, but you’d get the sense that this Jesus guy is alright. As the debut continues, and in episode after episode, you see that in every situation, Jesus is more than willing to help out around the house. He gladly plays with the kids when Sally has to take care of some errands. He skips the game with the guys to paint the bathroom. And, he never considers not doing these things an option. He enjoys serving his wife every chance he gets.

And this is where it hits us! I can honestly say that I see myself doing many of these things. I help around the house. I help out with the kids. I take care of the yard work. I bring Anne coffee in the mornings. I join in the vacuuming and wiping down the floors. But, when it comes down to it, do I really do it with a joyful attitude? Do I look at it as an opportunity to show Anne a little bit of Jesus in me? Or do I grunt a little under my breath as I empty the dishwasher for the seventeenth time in three days!

One of the books I most enjoy is The Life You’ve Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People (Christian Softcover Originals)
, by John Ortberg. Through his book, I was given a revelation about Jesus and His life of serving that I had never considered. Ortberg says, “When Jesus came as a servant, he was not disguising who God is. He was revealing who God is.

What an awesome statement! Jesus didn’t come as a child and a carpenter’s son and live a life of serving to hide the fact the He was the son of God. He showed Himself in this way so that He could reveal the true nature of God.

In order to become more like Christ, we must not consider ourselves above anyone, especially our spouse. Instead, the opposite is true. We should be searching for ways to serve our spouse. Every day presents us with opportunities to serve. Seek those out and serve with joy!

Copyright © 2008, Matthew J. White. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.
Hope you liked this article cause we sure did!
Christina Smith

What’s ok in our marriage?

I had forgotten to repost this to start the series. So here is the first Day then follow this post up with Day 2 to read the first three things that we are going over in the series. I do ask that if you comment on any of these articles in this series that you keep an open mind and do not ridicule others for the things that they feel differently on. We aren’t here to judge but to learn.

 

Many relationships suffer because most people are either afraid of doing things that may be wrong sexually or are afraid to communicate it to their spouse for fear of being ridiculed or shunned by them.

As you notice the main word in both these statements id FEAR. First things first, lets get one thing straight, FEAR is not of God. It is something that will keep you in bondage and from growing in your relationships, (with God, family, friends, spouse) if it is not dealt with. So before I go any further PLEASE pray about the fear that you have and release it to the Lord and start anew. Now that we have that out of the way lets get started.

When me and my husband weren’t saved there was many things that we had done that would shame the Christian. We were into pornography, considering a threesome, and MUCH comparison with the people that was in the porn. And then when we came to the Lord we truly repented of our sin against Him and then started creating our new life. It was almost an instant transformation in our marriage. But that isn’t to say that there was a new set of problems. We really became obsessed with making sure in every way we were leading a moral life and to us at that time we had really thought very shortsightedly that only certain kinds of lingerie were acceptable, certain positions during sex were acceptable, certain gestures were acceptable, and so on and so on. Eventually our relationship started to suffer because we were so worried about things not being ok that we were no longer having fun and our sex life was nil to none. It really was a growing experience in our marriage. We figured if it wasn’t in the Bible we weren’t gonna do it. But there is a reason why certain things are not in the Bible is because that thing which you may be contemplating in your relationship may just require a mutual consent between you and your spouse. Meaning communication is key! Here is what we learned about what the Bible DOES say:

  • We are to abstain from immoral sex. The Bible tells us the following are sin:
            1. Galatians 5:19, 1 Corinthians 7:2 & 36Fornication/unmarried sex
            2. Exodus 20:14, Matthew 5:27:   Adultery
            3. Leviticus 18:22 , Romans 1:26-27:   Homosexuality
            4. Leviticus 18:23 & 20:15-16:   Bestiality
            5. Leviticus 19:29, Deuteronomy 23:17, Proverbs 23:27, 1 Corinthians 6:15-16:   Prostitution
            6. Leviticus 18:6:   Incest
  • We are to only have sex in marriage;  one man and one woman. (Matthew 19:4-5, 1 Timothy 3:2 & 12)
  • We are expected to lovingly meet the legitimate sexual needs and wants of our spouse (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).

All these above are all direct biblical commands.

In addition there are requirements set out for us as believers (which we also apply to our roles as husbands and wives), which add the following restrictions:

  • Love for our spouse, and respect for the bodies and minds God created, this requires us to avoid anything which can cause problems: (Ephesians 5:29 & 33, 1 Corinthians 6:19)
      • physically
      • medically
      • emotionally
      • mentally
      • spiritually
      • relationally
  • We should never push or force our spouse to compromise what they believe. (Romans 14:1 & 14 & 23)
  • We should not be controlled by anything. Even God does not control you.(1 Corinthians 6:12 & 10:23)

Anything that doesn’t violate these principles are ok. It’s said that it’s important that our sexual activities benefit our sense of intimacy and oneness as a couple. It’s also important for a couple to have regular intercourse, if they are able to. Science has shown that all sex is not alike, and intercourse has effects on our bodies, minds, and emotions (and we believe our spirits) that no other sex act can match and affects all of us differently. But there are also those who say it’s a sin for a man to ejaculate anywhere other than a woman’s vagina. We find nothing in the Bible which says this, and nothing which seems to even hint this is the case. The only place in the Bible the even says anything on this case is Genesis 38:8-10 which Onan was clearly told to give his brother an heir but since Onan knew that the heir wouldn’t be his own he spilled his seed on the ground and the Lord was displeased because that was between Onan, Judah, and the Lord and nothing is ever spoken about ejaculation being a sin therefore, we see no reason to limit sex or climax to intercourse. However, a couple who avoids intercourse frequently is cheating themselves out of something God intended them to have because God says that sex is a gift.

To help us understand the variety of sex acts possible, and the fact that each couple will engage in a different subset of these sex acts, we like the analogy of a playground; the marriage bed playground. There is a fence around the playground – a fence that separates a couple from sex acts that are dangerous, sinful, or otherwise unacceptable. Inside the fence are a great number of pieces of playground equipment (sex acts) that a couple may enjoy if they so desire. What each couple enjoys varies just as preferences in playground equipment vary. If he gets dizzy and sick on things that spin, the merry-go-round is not a good choice. If she is uncomfortable with heights, that very tall slide is a bad idea. If they both enjoy him pushing her in the swing, but neither is big on her pushing him, that’s just fine. Start with a few things and over time test out others. If something is not enjoyable to either of you, leave it. However, do come back around to things you didn’t like the first time – our tastes change, and some things we didn’t enjoy early on may be a lot more fun years later.

But where is the fence? What is inside the fence, and what is outside? Let’s consider some specific bedroom activities and apply the principles above. Please keep in mind that we are not recommending any of these activities, we are only trying to give couples a framework for deciding which sexual activities will build their marriage, and which may damage it. How you feel about these things will be influenced by personal preferences, past experience, and your understanding of the Word.

Today lets first list the different types of situations and examples that we all have heard of or know of from personal experiences. Then over the next few days I will go in depth on each of these.

Here are the topics we will go into more in depth on as the days pass.

1.  Manual Sex:

Which in our opinion includes many types of positions, for instance: Man on top, woman on top, and “doggie” style or woman on her knees while man enters from behind. Manual sex is pretty much meant that only the two of you are using your own hands and bodies as stimulation with no outside or oral stimulation.

2.  Oral Sex:  

Sexually arousing or stimulating your spouse with the mouth.

3.  Sex During Menstruation:

Having sex while a woman is menstruating or on her period.

4.  Anal Intercourse:

Sex where the penis is inserted into the anus.

5.  Anal Stimulation:

The anus is stimulated with an inanimate object, fingers, and (sorry about this) the mouth.

6.  Sex Toys:

Where a broad spectrum of items that are designed to enhance physical pleasure.

7.  Phone Sex:

Sharing sexual thoughts and fantasies on the phone, and it is often done while masturbating.

8.  “Dirty” Words:

Words you would not otherwise use outside the bedroom to describe organs, body, or the person.

9.  Sexually explicit material:

Sexually explicit material covers a broad spectrum of material not just pornography or erotica. So this topic might be helpful for those that have this question.

10.  Masturbation:

Self pleasuring.

11.  Public Nudity:

While this seems obviously wrong to many, there are those who ask “why?” so we will try to address that question.

12.  Public Sex:

Obviously it’s wrong to have sex where others can see you – but what about where others might see you? We will cover some questions on this issue.

13.  Role Play and Fantasy Play:

This is another area which is difficult because it covers a very wide array of things. There is certainly a difference between fantasizing you and your spouse are making love on the beach of a deserted island, and imagining having an adulterous affair. We hope that this topic will help relieve some questions about dress-up, role-playing, and fantasizing.

14.  Using Photos and Video Cameras:

We are discussing the private use of cameras or video cams. Since there is no prohibition of seeing each other naked, there would seem to be no prohibition of seeing pictures of each other naked. However, there are issues to consider. We will go over this issue more on a later date.

15.  Fetishes:

An individual with a fetish either can’t have sex, or can’t enjoy sex, without engaging in the fetish or fantasizing about it. More on this topic later.

16.  Adult Nursing:

Adult nursing means the husband nurses the wife.

17.  Bondage, Spanking and BDSM:

BDSM means bondage, discipline (or domination), sadomasochism (or slave-master or submission). This is a wide category with unclear boundaries; at “low levels”, playing at these things is fine provided both husband and wife enjoy them. However, all these things can be, or can become, fetishes, and then are wrong for that reason (see above in Fetish). Questions will be answered on this subject.

18.  Watersports and Scat:

Using urination (as opposed to female ejaculation) and defecation as a part of sex.

19.  Erotic Asphyxiation:


Restricting oxygen flow to the brain by choking, otherwise compressing the carotid arteries, or limiting oxygen intake. Yes this happens alot and we wanted it addressed.

So today I hope that we have started to resurface some of the issues that commonly come up when we get married and are always questioning whats ok and not ok. Be sure to check back tomorrow to read the first of our series of whats ok in our marriage in the world view versus Gods view.

Blessings!

Tim and Christina
Three Passions