Why Questions…..Funny… and True

Got this in an email and just had to share it with you all.

In a couple days I will be posting a series about the sacred dance of marriage which will start with Created For Connection by Garry Brantley 

All the while I will have funny little sayings or jokes to start the day off 🙂 Hope you will enjoy this next series coming up.

If you have something that you would like me to post about that you have been wanting to know about or question please let me know and I will see how to incorporate an article on it…

Have a BLESSED day in the Lord!!

Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store
to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

Why do banks leave vault doors open and
then chain the pens to the counters?

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in
our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?

Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do ‘practice’?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring,
and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all
your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the
slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is
used on airplanes? Why don’t they make
the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe,
why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread the
stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile
to (maybe even a chuckle)… We all need to smile every once in a while.

OH you didn’t smile – well how about this one:

God promised men that good and

obedient wives would be found in

all corners of the world……

then He made the world round

and laughed and laughed……

“Faith is not believing that God CAN …
It is knowing that He will”

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HELLOOOO to our lovely peeps! 🙂


Its a new year so we thought we would give an opportunity to all of you to give your thoughts on what you would like for us to offer more of or just to offer that you can’t find on our site.We want to know!

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Humility and Self-Forgetfulness

At Christmas my loving husband got me a gift certificate to a trustworthy tattoo and piercing place. This article goes on the a little bit. But I had been praying about it for a long time and decided I wanted a tattoo that represented Christ in my life for the same reason that the gentleman in this article did. While this isn’t the main focus of the article the idea is. I pray that this is prayed upon and pondered and blessed as you all go about your day today!



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While humility is not often praised in society today, it is a characteristic that Christ displayed at every turn. Marriage offers the perfect testing grounds for humility.

What comes to mind when you hear the word “humility?” When used outside of the context of the Bible, humility usually refers to a quality in someone who we might consider weak or lowly. A quick look at some synonyms reveals words like meek, modest, submissive, unassuming and humble. These are not necessarily characteristics that are pushed in society today, but certainly ones that Jesus pursued and that we should too.

Would you consider yourself to be a humble person? Although we know that being humble is the right thing to do, it is difficult to put into practice. When I do well in a presentation at work, I want to let people know it went well. When your child wins the championship, you want to tell people about it. We even start the sentence with words like, “I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging, but…”

Tattooed for Christ

A perfect example: I recently got a tattoo on my arm. (I won’t go into the details, but it was a birthday present to myself.) I decided to get a Bible verse instead of just a design of some kind. My reason for doing this is so that if people see the tattoo and don’t know what it means, they will ask me what the verse says, which may lead into further conversation. The verse I chose for my tattoo was Philippians 4:13, which is “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

The irony here is this: I’m telling all my friends that the reason I got a tattoo that’s “biblical” is so I can have the opportunity to share my faith. Is it possible, however, that I made this “great Christian decision” just so I can brag to people that I made that decision? Are you following me? I’d like to think that I did it for the right reason. But, did I?

I’ve heard it said before that the moment we realize we’re being humble, we’re not any more. So, I’ve now come to realize that we can’t look at humility the way the world sees it. Instead, if we look at humility from a Godly perspective, it sounds something like this:

“Humility means understanding who God is and who we are in light of him.”

How does it feel to look at yourself from that point of view? When I first heard this definition of humility, it truly resonated with me. The apostle Peter gives great supporting content to this definition when he says:

But all of you, leaders and followers alike, are to be down to earth with each other, for God has had it with the proud, but takes delight in just plain people.

So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you. (1 Peter 5:5-7, The Message)

Do you consider yourself “down to earth?” Would your friends describe you as “plain people?” Would your spouse say that you “put on airs” or that you live “carefree before God?” When we understand who God is and who we are in light of Him, it becomes more evident that we are nothing without Him! If we start to look at daily activities and situations from this perspective, it will change the way we think, act and speak.


John Ortberg, in The Life You’ve Always Wanted, says, “Humility has to do with submitted willingness. It involves a healthy self-forgetfulness.” In marriage, that is key! “Self-forgetfulness” is quite possibly the most valuable word in marriage. And, at the same time, it is indeed one of the most difficult to implement. But, when a marriage consists of a husband and wife whose ultimate goal is to do whatever it takes to please God and please the other person, that marriage will succeed.

Christ, who was the only one with every right to be arrogant and prideful, chose to humble Himself:

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death – even death on a cross! (Phil. 2:5-8, NIV)

Jesus Christ has set the perfect example for us to follow – in life and in marriage. Becoming more like Christ in your marriage will not happen overnight. It will take persistence. It will take perseverance. It will take flexibility. And, most of all, it will take love: a love that shows your spouse that you are more concerned with his or her needs and desires than your own; a love that serves without an attitude; a love that forgives unconditionally.

And in the end, that kind of love will have revealed a glimpse of Jesus to your spouse. They will have seen Jesus in you.

Copyright © 2008, Matthew J. White.



Whats Ok I Our Marriage? Day 6: Fetishes, Adult Nursing, Bondage/Spanking/BDSM, Watersports/Scat, and Erotic Asphyxiation

Love is patient, love is kind, love is everlasting

Love is patient, love is kind, love is everlasting

So here is our last article in the series. As we finish this series we hope that it has helped in some way to inform you of things that are or aren’t ok in YOUR marriage. Remember MOST things are pretty much open in your marriage as long as you honor each other and respect each other with what they themselves are ok with. Just be sure to pray about it with each other and by yourselves. God made sex as a gift and He wants us to enjoy each others sexuality and love each other for who we are in Him. And don’t forget to HAVE FUN!  😉

So here we go!


An individual with a fetish either can’t have sex, or can’t enjoy sex, without engaging in the fetish or fantasizing about it. Common fetishes are items like leather or high heels, activities like spanking, a man dressing up as a woman, or an inordinate fascination with body parts like feet or certain sized breasts. It’s often hard to draw a clear line, since a preference is not a fetish until it becomes required for normal sexual function. For example, some people have an oral sex fetish, but most who enjoy oral sex do not have a fetish and can have sex without it.

Many folks say “It’s harmless, just go along.” However, the Bible tells us not to be controlled by anything (1 Corinthians 6:12), and we feel a fetish violates this scriptural principle. Fetishes are far more common in men than in women, and most fetishes seem to be a result of something that happened fairly early in life or early in a person’s sexual awareness. Fetishes can be dealt with through therapy, but only if the person wants to change. (The AACC has some people trained to help with this.)

Adult Nursing

Adult nursing means the husband nurses the wife. While this would include a man “sampling” breast milk while his wife is nursing a baby, having an “adult nursing relationship” means much more than this. Serious adult nursers continue long after the children have stopped nursing, maybe even after they have grown and left home. Others come to adult nursing after the woman has stopped nursing children, working very diligently to “re-lactate” so the woman has milk for the husband.

Those who have this kind of relationship say it is a real blessing to them, and their marriage. Most freely admit it is at least partly a sexual thing, but many say it is far more than just sexual. Having done some searching we cannot find any evidence that there are health reasons to avoid adult nursing, nor can we find a biblical principle that would preclude it. For some it may be a fetish, but for some it is not. As long as both husband and wife understand the dedication it takes to keep the milk flowing, and both are fine with that, we cannot see a reason to say adult nursing is wrong. That said, we wonder if it is not usually an attempt to fix something broken in the relationship, or provide something missing. There are probably other, easier, ways to deal with broken or missing things!

Bondage, Spanking and BDSM

BDSM means bondage, discipline (or domination), sadomasochism (or slave-master or submission). This is a wide category with unclear boundaries; at “low levels”, playing at these things is fine provided both husband and wife enjoy them. However, all these things can be, or can become, fetishes, and then are wrong for that reason (see above in Fetish). BDSM is openly sexual, and is different from so-called “Domestic Discipline” To read more on this subject click on the link.

  • Bondage: Tying a partner up can be very arousing for both of the one tied and the one who not tied. It can show a sense of trust, and can allow the bound person to feel free to do nothing and just receive. If bondage is mutually enjoyed and not extreme, we see no reason not to make it a part of a couple’s sex life. Some people practice bondage in a way that causes pain, making it a form of S&M.
  • Spanking: There are valid biological reasons why mild pain can be arousing. Spanking, scratching and biting all fit into this category. We can find no scriptural or scientific reason to avoid this so long as both partners agree to it. However, if the pain is more than mild, this moves into S&M.
  • S&M: A sadist is sexually aroused by causing pain; a masochist is sexually aroused by receiving pain. Aside from the fact that this is virtually always a fetish, we do not see either behavior to be compatible with who God has called us to be. Desires for S&M may be a result of sexual or physical abuse in the past, or may reveal problems with self-image or self-confidence.
  • Dominance and Discipline: Sexual arousal from dominating or punishing another, or from being dominated or punished. This involves humiliation and degradation, and again we do not see it as compatible with who God calls us to be.

Watersports and Scat

Using urination (as opposed to female ejaculation) and defecation as a part of sex.

  • Scat: Because feces is bacterially unclean, defecation as a part of sex is unwise for medical reasons.
  • Water sports: Urine is normally sterile, so there are no medical issues. On the other hand, there is no good evidence that urine has inherently biological reasons for being sexual or sexually simulating, so it’s likely that this is usually, if not always, a fetish. In addition, most people would see this as degrading to the person being urinated on.

Erotic Asphyxiation

This is restricting oxygen flow to the brain by choking, otherwise compressing the carotid arteries, or limiting oxygen intake. Reduced oxygen and a build up of carbon dioxide in the brain results in euphoria, and this can make sex and especially orgasm more powerful.

The massive downside is that this can also cause death. A person who has reached the point of oxygen deprivation that gives the “thrill” has also passed the point of being able to judge when they need to stop. Even if the event is being controlled by the spouse, there is no way to know where damage can occur. Additionally, underlying medical conditions mean that what would be “safe” for one person could be deadly for another.

It seems very clear to us that it is not loving to risk death to give your spouse a sexual thrill. So we believe that this should not be practiced.


Surely we have not covered everything in these articles, but hopefully we have given you a framework for discussing things and a way of determining whether something will build or harm your marriage. Talk and pray together to find what is right for your marriage.

Here are some other resources to consider:

The vagina absorbs things from semen that benefit women

Intercourse benefits blood pressure levels more than other sex acts

Prolactin levels suggest intercourse is more satisfying

Vaginal exposure to semen may reduce chance of breast cancer

More frequent intercourse, but not other sex acts, leads to great satisfaction with sex, life, relationship and mental health

We hope this will help you in your marriage as much as it has helped ours to understand that sometimes God gives us things that we need to choose for ourselves if it will benefit us or not help us. That is the joy and freedom we have in Him.

Thank you to Paul & Lori Byerly from The Marriage Bed for offering such extensive help and research in these subjects.

Tim and Christina Smith
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Whats Ok In Our Marriage? #5 Public Nudity, Public Sex, Role-play, and Photos/Videos

Marriage is a commitment. Love is not a feeling it is a choice.

I am so sorry I have not been on for the next issues. It has been a BUSY week and a half.

So we have gone through several issues that some we may inherently know are wrong and others that just aren’t so black and white. Today is Public nudity, public sex, Role-play, and using photos and video cameras. I myself have thought that public nudity in like the nudist places was more “to each his own but I wouldn’t do it”. But diving a little deeper into the subject you start to learn more about it. And also what God says on the matter. Same thing with the other subjects we are discussing today. These can be simple subjects for some for they already know what is not ok in their relationship, others these may be hard issues as they may be involved in one or another  or just pure judgement. I ask that you stay open and willing to listen and learn. With that lets carry on!

Next up on our list,

Public nudity

There are those who call themselves “Christian nudists.” While this seems obviously wrong to many, there are those who ask “why?” so we will try to address that question.

Some suggest they are just returning to the way Adam and Eve were before the fall. The problem with this theory is that we are still a fallen people – redeemed yes, but not yet perfected. We are still subject to the same temptations and lusts, and how can we justify doing something which could be used by another for sin? If we should avoid eating meat in the presence of those who lack such faith, how much more should we avoid being nude? Even if “I” can see others naked and not lust, how can “I” know that everyone else is also able to do that? I can’t, so public nudity is risking being an offense or stumbling block to others.

Some nudists claim that Jewish fishermen worked naked. Their basis for this is the words “stripped down for work” found in the Bible. In reality, these words mean that the outer clothing was removed, while the inner clothing, which still fully covered the body, was left in place. (Besides, no sane man would fish naked – think about it!) This and other twisting of Scriptures are used to try and biblically support nudism, but these are just attempts to make the Bible say what they have already decided to do.

Nudists will also say “it’s not about sex.” But we see that both the Bible and biology say otherwise:

Scripture: When God give us a list, in Leviticus, of people we are not to have sex with (incest), He does not say “don’t have sex.” Instead, He tells us not to “uncover” or “discover” their nakedness. Given how explicit God is in other parts of the Bible, we cannot dismiss this as a euphemism designed to avoid talking plainly. God limited nakedness because He knew that nudity is inherently sexual, and fallen people often lack the self-control to avoid falling into lust, and following that lust into sex acts.

Science has shown that certain parts of the body are inherently sexual. Not because of our culture, but because of the biology God gave us. Pheromones (we call them airborne hormones) can have a major effect on others: they are what cause women who live together to “cycle” together, and they cause a man to have a slight rise and fall in his sex drive that follows his wife’s cycle. There are certain parts of the body that emit large amounts of these sexual pheromones: the underarms, the genitals, the aureoles of men and women, and the navel of women are the “biggies.” When these parts of the body are covered with clothes, the clothes capture most of the pheromones; when we are naked, the quantity of pheromones reaching others rises significantly. Therefore, being nude means you are sending a lot stronger sexual signals to those around you.

Public Sex

Obviously it’s wrong to have sex where others can see you – but what about where others might see you? This ranges from sex in the car in a public place to manually stimulating each other in a movie theater to making out on a beach to sex in your own back yard.

Those who do this say the thrill of getting caught makes the sex great. Others are turned on by doing something sexual around others who are unaware of what is happening. The first seems clearly wrong to us – if you “get caught” you have exposed your sexuality in a way that is wrong. The second is more difficult as it depends on how truly unaware others are, and how unlikely it is you will be discovered or suspected. If you are wrapped in a blanket on a secluded part of a beach, you’re sitting up, and you are caressing sexually, you won’t look suspicious if someone walks by. On the other hand, if you do something in a movie theater, it’s very likely that someone will see, hear or smell something that will make them suspect you are doing something sexual. The first seems acceptable, the second does not.

It seems to us that those who are after the thrill won’t be able to find a way that is safe enough to prevent suspicion while still providing the thrill. On the other hand, if you have always felt it would be great to have sex on the beach, or under the stars, or while watching a thunderstorm, because of the awesome backdrop, then you can probably find way to do it without any risk of exposing yourselves or offending others.

Role Playing and Fantasy

This is another area which is difficult because it covers a very wide array of things. There is certainly a difference between fantasizing you and your spouse are making love on the beach of a deserted island, and imagining having an adulterous affair.

Since God cares about our thoughts, not just our actions, there must be a line in this that we should not cross, but where is that line? A safe way to approach this is to say it’s wrong to fantasize or act out anything it would be wrong to actually do. This means you must always play yourselves, not a real movie star or someone you know. It also means you must be married in the fantasy.

However, we do not think this means you must limit yourself to things you might actually be able to do. If you want to pretend it’s several hundred years ago and you are a ship captain and a damsel saved from pirates, go for it (you got married at the nearest port). Or maybe you are husband and wife on a spaceship, exploring the bounds of the universe and the bounds of weightless sex. This is especially fun sometimes to really change things up every now and then.

Private photos and videos

Note we are discussing the private use of cameras or video cams. Since there is no prohibition of seeing each other naked, there would seem to be no prohibition of seeing pictures of each other naked. However, there are issues to consider. While there are places which will develop such pictures, this means letting others see them – see public nudity above. Video cameras, Polaroid cameras, and digital cameras on the other hand allow you to take and view pictures without anyone else seeing them. Then the issue is making sure the pictures stay private. If you have anyone in your house that is able to turn a doorknob, you need to secure your pictures to keep them private. Lock up pictures and video tapes, and encrypt digital photos on your computer, or transfer them to a CD that you can lock up.

“Sexting” – sending sexual pictures by phone, would fall into the same category, and would need to follow the same restrictions. If your phone is not password protected, are any sexual images of you and your spouse somehow protected or hidden should someone find your phone?

What’s ok in our marriage?

Here is a post that I blogged about a few months ago but since we are redoing this series I wanted to let everyone know that we are all different and I think it is a good series for us to all get to know. We hope that this series will help you all in your quest for better marriages. If you decide to comment they will be previewed before approved and I just ask that all comments to not be judgemental to one another. And to truly love each other for our differences.
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I had forgotten to repost this to start the series. So here is the first Day then follow this post up with Day 2 to read the first three things that we are going over in the series. I do ask that if you comment on any of these articles in this series that you keep an open mind and do not ridicule others for the things that they feel differently on. We aren’t here to judge but to learn.


Many relationships suffer because most people are either afraid of doing things that may be wrong sexually or are afraid to communicate it to their spouse for fear of being ridiculed or shunned by them.

As you notice the main word in both these statements id FEAR. First things first, lets get one thing straight, FEAR is not of God. It is something that will keep you in bondage…

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