Here’s a quick funny quote for you, made me laugh hope it will you too…. Laughter is healing!
“Heat makes things expand, so I don’t have a weight problem, I’m just HOT!”
Had to share! God Bless!!
God has called husbands and wives to serve as unique vessels of His love for the other.
Josh’s work ethic impressed Nancy. A trait she very much admired
about him was his ability to focus and complete tasks with excellence.
While she still admired this aspect of Josh, she began to feel like he
really never focused on their relationship. It seemed to her that he
approached his time with her and the kids as another task to perform,
rather than an experience to enjoy. She longed for deeper connection to
him – to feel a part of his life.
Nancy had that social, spontaneous spirit about her that Josh loved.
She never met a stranger, and everyone seemed to feel at ease around
her. Nancy loved conversation, and Josh felt completely at ease sharing
his feelings with her. Through the years, however, Josh began to feel
that Nancy wanted more of him than he could give. As he sensed her
frustration with him, Josh became increasingly frustrated with Nancy in
this regard. Every previous attempt to address this tension left them
both feeling more disconnected.
Listening for the Music
All couples, like Josh and Nancy, have certain issues that threaten
intimacy. And, often our attempts to address them end up hurting each
other, rather than healing the relationship. From the biblical material
alluded to in the previous articles, here are some suggestions to help
ease relational tension and nurture deeper intimacy:
- God is the Source of Authentic Love. Though inmarriage we pledge to love one another through the fluctuations of life,
selfishness is our natural tendency. We tend to pull into ourselves and
stand in critical judgment of others, especially our spouse. Attempting
to find true love – a love that never fails – within our human selves
However, God has called husbands and wives to serve as unique vessels of His
love for the other. Once we begin to realize that it is God’s infinite,
authentic love poured through us into the other, an amazing shift
occurs. As we receive God’s love poured into our hearts, then that love – a love that never fails – overflows into others around us, especially our spouse.
- Embrace Differences. The differences betweenhusband and wife are intended by God to bring unique blessings into the
other’s life. The first step in reducing tension brought on by our
peculiar personality traits, then, is to accept them as a gift from God.
By first expressing genuine appreciation for the other’s uniqueness, we
can then speak to the issues brought on by them.
- Personality Strengths Can Become Weaknesses. Whentensions arise within marriage, each spouse tends to blame the other.
They point out the shortcomings of the other and rarely consider their
own contributions to the problems. However, since we live in a broken
world, our own sense of self is equally broken. Our strengths can morph
The ability to focus and complete tasks with
excellence, for example, can lead one to become myopic, seeing people as
a means to an end rather than as human beings with whom to relate.
Likewise, the social ability to interact freely with others, without
proper balance, can create a sense of superficiality in relationships,
or the seeking of life, meaning and purpose from others – something
humans ultimately cannot provide. The first place to start while
addressing relational issues is ourself, not the other.
- Commit Time to the Relationship. We live in afrenetic world. Increased technology, rather than providing more free
time, actually encroaches on opportunity to “disengage.” Cell phones,
blackberries and laptops all lure us away from meaningful time with one
another. Additionally, our culture tends to place value on people who
are “busy.” Particularly in our technologically-saturated and
performance-based culture, we must create space for our relationships.
spent genuinely to connect to our spouse actually pays dividends even
at work as it can reduce relational stress. Regularly schedule time for a
walk, a meal together or time simply to talk without distractions. Time
spent together in meaningful conversation helps bridge gaps in our
- Enjoy the Dance. Re-imagine marriage with arelational, rather than an institutional, metaphor. Take the “dance,”
for example. Before any dance occurs, tasks must be performed. Lights
must be hung, wires must be run, and instruments must be tuned.
tasks, roles and responsibilities are not an end in themselves; they
serve a larger purpose. The reason behind these crucial tasks is to
enjoy the dance. All roles and responsibilities in marriage are
essential. But, they are not the end in themselves. Their purpose is to
facilitate an intimate connection between husband and wife, to enjoy the
sacred dance of marriage.
Previous article in series:
When the Music Fades
- Incorporating a Romantic Sensual Massage Into Your Marriage (spa.answers.com)